slow process

leaving the girls in bondi was quite difficult. it was like leaving home for the second time. even though i was ready to take the next step of my journey, there was still this fear nestled deep in my belly. making new friends, starting up conversation, i had no desire to exert the energy. 

since when did i consider "conversation" an effort? i was disappointed in myself. it seemed as though my progression was stagnant. i was waiting for the remised shannon to spark back to life, i hadn't anticipated the wait. i wanted my long lost spirit to jar me like a bolt of energy. i wanted to come back.  

finally accepting that this was just part of my journey, i decided not to fight my urge of self-inflicted loneliness. i checked into my co-ed, 8 person dorm quietly, then swiftly slipped out, without uttering a word to my flatmates. i wasn't ready to humor anyone, so i meandered around the beautiful little town and fantasized about building a world like byron bay amongst the sea line of the orange curtain.

what a ridiculous thought. there was so much of the california coast that had been unexplored by my eyes, the reality is, a town like this probably already exists. 

i had considered taking a dance with maryjane to slowly ease me back into the friendship making circle and then slightly remembered how my grass induced state leads me to believe that cops that are on my doorstep waiting to arrest me. i strongly decided against it and settled for a kayak adventure. aaahhh, just my luck, it was all couples plus one. as i thought the day couldn't get any brighter….i was partnered with the instructor. to my unforeseen delight, he was the perfect anecdote that i needed for the cure. his witty and charming auzzie demeanor was contagious, within minutes i felt as though i was host of the group. 


when i returned to my dorm, my two male flatmates, still looking a bit groggy from the previous nights events warmly welcomed me to our humble abode. i smiled, knowing instantly i came to the right place.  

life was back to simple.  

xoxo - ShannonSmile