natural high

the magic of music. setting the tone for any environment, music holds the ability to reverse moods, turning rage into passion, tears into smiles. it allows for meditations to set in, personalities to be energized, maniacs to relax, and closets to be opened. all senses are enhanced.  

setting everyone's mood on fire, anything seems possible amongst the melody, allowing the feelings of love and happiness to float through the air. there was nothing better than attending a music festival half way across the world with artists that are admired by millions. running from stage to stage to catch the next best act. musical fire running through our systems, sharing song and dance with people you've never met but now share a common bond. 

music can change anything.

m.i.a, sia, lupe fiasco, ratatat, deftones, birds of tokyo, lcd sound system, john butler trio, edward sharp, angus and julia stone, tool , the list goes on. "big day out" is the coachella of oz and i was lucky enough to attend it!  

"i love you" - i don't know you, but "I love you." 
i wanted to SCREAM. "i know how you feel sia." the same thoughts and feelings have come rushing through my body a millions times over. i often have felt an overwhelming love for complete strangers for no apparent reason. multiple times have willingly handed out my heart to random people in the world. and i've never thought twice about it. i've often been accused for being too liberal with my love, and right now that accusation seems ludicrous. how can one be patronized for loving too much…..? how had i allowed for people's judgements to attack my mind, giving them the ability to change my personality? shame on me. 

i felt so amazing inside, there were people all around the world that were just like me. people filled with so much love that they wanted to share it with everyone. 

it may have been the drug induced state that allowed everyone else to feel what ran through my veins on a daily basis, uncontrollable love bursting at the seams. but if that's what it took i didn't care, it was nice to finally have people on my level.

xoxo - ShannonSmile

music to my ears

i worked as a cocktail waitress for a few years in my playful twenties, and to this day, can still say, it was the job most fit for me. i pranced around the same lounge for three years and acted as if i owned the place, treating every guest as a dear friend or a past lover. anything my guests desired…..whether it be a pillow for their back or a dish not quite on the menu, their wish was my command. 

i came to know my guests quite well. began to think of them as family. i served as a psychologists for many, a long lost daughter for others, the one that got away for some and just a friendly smile for all who entered. learning life stories, familial trails and tribulations, breakup's and makeup's were some of the many joys of my job. i spent holidays with my guest, attended weddings and baby showers, received gifts from then and was welcomed into many of their homes. they enabled my smile to become a permanent fixture within the restaurant. the love for my job and my never-ending happiness was so apparent, that guests often knew i was working cause my laugh could be heard echoing throughout the compound. 

i was walking through the streets of bondi today, heading to visit stephanie at her boutique. when i entered her shop, she said she knew i was coming because she heard my laugh down the way.

my eyes watered. those familiar words sounded so foreign to me, i hadn't heard them in well over a year. to be honest, i hadn't been this happy in over a year. 

xoxo - ShannonSmile

me "minus" one

i had patiently been waiting all week to indulge in these pancakes that i had eyed on the menu of my favorite little bondi cafe. ricotta pancakes, caramelized bananas, strawberries, blueberries, a scoop of ice cream, deliciously topped with whipping cream. pure heaven. 

i basically did everything i could, besides a full blown sprint, to get to the cafe as fast as possible. as i walked the path that i knew so well, i must have been a bit too excited, cause i basically missed the initial step that led into the cafe. i would have fallen flat on my face if a man hadn't caught me.

giggling a bit but also trying to act embarrassed, knowing quite well that my clumsiness gets the best of me, i composed myself and looked up at my coffee shop savior. i was almost speechless, he was gorgeous. "that step came out of nowhere," i stuttered, finally embarrassed at my lack of grace. "seems to me it's been there all week," was his auzzie reply. blushing i hurried to the furthest table in the corner……still only dreaming of my pancakes!

knowing that my meal would take a good 30 minutes to arrive, i pulled out my laptop and started typing. fulling enveloped in the piece of literature at hand, i was a bit annoyed when a male voice interjected my thoughts to inquired about my mac. to be honest, this mac book air gets more attention than brad pitt…..people love it, want it and need to test out the weight. so as i looked up, half expecting to just hand over my tech beauty, i found myself looking into familiar eyes. my australian knight. 

our conversation was brief, but i quickly understood his intention was not to inquire about the apple of my eye. i was honestly flattered that he wanted to take me to dinner, but i politely declined. i had no intention of starting a mindless love affair. if i was being honest with myself, true love was something i was on the run from. at this point in my journey, my focus was geared selfishly on myself.

it felt amazing and oddly liberating to walk out of that cafe alone. i was totally ok…..all by myself.

xoxo - ShannonSmile

ghost

the girls made my stay in bondi warm, relaxed and unforgettable. lucky for me, they had already found their nitch in town. they had accumulated a great bunch of auzzie beauties as their friends, and they kindly welcomed me into their circle. 

i very much enjoyed meeting the girls for coffee every morning. then reconvening at lunch time and spending longer than 30 minutes together because we truly were enjoying each other's company. there was never a rush to what we were doing, never a better place to be than where we were, with friends. 

my two weeks in bondi taught me such a valuable lesson….

back home, even if i was enjoying my present company, in the back of my mind i always knew i had somewhere else to be, someone else i needed to see, someone else that even i needed to be. my friend ryan often referred to this characteristic as "better dealing" the situation. i was never fully engaged and i never appreciated living in the moment, because i was far too busy living in the future. i never knew how truly absent i had been. and i apologize to everyone that ever knew this ghost. 

with these ladies, there was an understood importance on spending quality time with friends. something that i just wasn't used to. i'm such a hypocrite. thinking that people should always understand why i cant attend something or why i haven't seen them in months. i mean, "i'm busy." and everyone knows it. i'm a workaholic. if one job doesn't work me 14 hours a day then you best believe that i got myself a second job, because money ran my world. friends and enjoyment always came secondary. 


i was so busy trying to plan the perfect life, that i had forgotten to live my perfect life. 

i suddenly wanted to get home, as fast as my wings could fly. i needed to make things better, i needed to mend what i had broken. but at this point, escaping yet again, was not as option. i vowed to change things, as soon as landed back in reality.  

this is piece is dedicated to three of my close friends and their children: chloe, pierce and elle. i hope when i return to be the best friend & auntie that you all deserve.

xoxo - ShannonSmile

Shannanigans #1

i drove on the wrong side of the road today, and it was right! =) Or rather it was left, hehe! 

xoxo - SS

life in the fast lane

i landed in sydney australia not fully prepared for the society that i was about to be thrown back into. i had come out of a coma induced state of peace and tranquility. i hadn't done my hair in days, showered only because i needed to wash the salt off, and forgot i had even brought make-up.  bondi was a quick slap in the face. it was a bustling little community just outside of sydney located on the coast, a tourist hot spot for the young and the beautiful. 

i was shacking up with two girls from orange country who moved to oz in october. i admired them so much for their tenacity and boldness. steph is a firecracker who can make me laugh for days. she weighs as much as a toothpick and looks like an exotic bathing suit model. kate basically walked off the cover of a surfers magazine, she has long silky blonde hair to her bum and sparkling bright eyes. it was disgusting hanging out with them =) but their beauty allowed them to fit right into bondi's beachy "poshnessphere." 

it didn't take long for me to remembered what a blow dryer looked like and where i had packed my fake eyelashes.  back to makeup, clothing, and caring what people think…..game on.

xoxo - ShannonSmile

bondi beach, new south whales, australia

let me paint the picture for you…..

its newport beach with less attitude and plastic, radiated with culture and beautiful blue waters. the atmosphere mirrors san diego's kick back perspective, yet still with the emphasis of dark tans and slender beauty that only laguna beach can truly embody. there's a huge does of santa monica cause everyone is obsessed with staying fit and keeping it organic. 

it's quite the gorgeous spot and so is everyone in it.


xoxo - ShannonSmile

a well needed lullaby

this lullaby is for my 11 year old sister, whom i miss dearly:

monkey,

thank-you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers in school. God listens to the prayers of children more than anyone else. i love that you read my blog all the time and i hope that one day the roles will reverse and you will be the world traveler that i am reading about. there's so much that you learn about yourself when you travel, life lessons that can only be taught through self-experience. 

here is a song that someone dear to me once taught me. it may help this journey of mine to be a bit easier on the both of us:

"i see the moon and the moon sees me, the moon sees the one that i long to see. so God bless the moon and God bless me and God bless the one that i long to see."

no matter where we are in the world, we share the same moon, the same stars, the same sun, the same wind. the ocean that may touch your feet may also reach mine. all of which makes us that much closer. so when you look into the night sky and the moon is glistening down on your beautiful face, i too can see that same moon, and i am thinking of you. i love you. 

miss you - xoxo

banana 

many thanks

thanks again to everyone for the supportive emails and posts. i've been a bit behind with the blogs, my internet access has been sparse and to be honest it is self inflicted. i want to truly envelope myself in each situation i encounter and keeping this virtual distance from the world i left behind is assisting in this matter. 

some people have been inquiring about where i have been staying and the places i have been visiting. i have been documenting everything, including pricing! so when you are ready to take your very own adventure i can hopefully be of some assistance! 

xoxo - ShannonSmile

things to know about fiji

welcome greeting: "bula bula" 

this popular saying can be heard all over the islands. meaning a multitude of things, the main gist is "hello" or "welcome."  

traditions: kava drinking 

practiced far and wide on every island, you drink the water drained from the kava root. at one time used only by high priests and chiefs, traditionally drank as a meditator between the world of the humans and spirits. now the root and water mixture can be enjoyed by one and all. 

fiji time equals no time =)

fijian way: "live only for today"

currency: fiji dollar

two main types of inhabitants: fijians and indo-fijians (indian fijians) 

fijians are pacific islanders. but if you break it down even further they are three sub-categories of pi's: polynesian, micronesian and malenesian. fijians are malenesian.

main languages: fijian and hindu

main religions: christian (fijians) and muslim (indo-fijians) 

don't: don't get caught smoking a joint, you will be thrown right in jail

fiji is made up of over 340 islands 

thank you: "vinaka"

drink: "taki"

please: 'kere kere"

no worries be happy: "sega na lega"


xoxo - ShannonSmile 

shoot for the stars

i was sad to have to say good-bye. but i knew from the minute i landed my time in fiji would be short. i was supposed to be on a 6 hour lay over and turned it into a mini vacation instead! 

the night before i boarded my next star-ship, i sat up with the friends i had gained and enjoyed their company for hours. we made a pact to stay up until i had to leave at 5:30am, but failed miserably after too much kava drinking set us deep into the nights dreams. the stars were wild that night, shinning brighter than i could have ever remembered before. and a guy that had joined our group, world traveler himself, knew more about the constellations than google itself. he kept me entertained for what felt like a lifetime. 

i loved that the people around me were so educated and knowledgeable on so many different levels. wether it was a conversation regarding politics, demographics, statistics, geography, extraterrestrial life…….everyone had something worth hearing to say. i could have listened to everyone speak for hours, wherein i usually find it rare for a person to hold my attention for more than a few moments.

when i said my good byes, i felt this over-whelming sadness rise in my gut. these people changed my life, touched my heart and i would probably never see them again. alexandra was like a long lost soulmate and i wondered if our paths would ever cross again......

hugs were given all around and "safe travels" said by one and all. we would all be leaving this place soon, everyone set to go on their next great adventure. 

Next Stop - Sydney, Australia

xoxo - ShannonSmile 

worth the wait

it took me a quick minute to get used to the lax atmosphere demanded here on the islands. everything seemed to be such a process. coming from the land of "faster, bigger, better" put me at a bit of a learning disadvantage. patience was not necessary in the society that i was engulfed in. and if something happened to be taking too long, one would complain and then be rewarded for it. odd concept to me now, but very much practiced just a few weeks ago. 

ordering lunch was a two hour adventure. but the friends i ate with never seemed to be in a rush. no one complained about the service, no one wondering where the food was. we were visitors on this island and for that we had to except fiji time. 

once i really got to thinking about it, i came to this obvious realization, this was their home. how could i just walk into it and expect them to adapt to my westernized ways. if i didn't like the way they lived, i didn't have to stop in. it was an understanding that everyone else seemed to already have known, and a lesson that i quickly learned. for a person who tries her best to practice patience, i learned how very little i had. but the relaxed attitude of the people around me, allowed me to exemplify the same. it was beautiful. 

by the end of my fijian visit i was never conscious of the wait. i was far too busy enjoying the sun and the surrounded company. 

xoxo - ShannonSmile

only live for today

the fijian gentleman, ali, that i met at the airport continued to be a close mate and personal tour guide for my brief visit to the islands. he and his cousin, smiley, picked alexandra, my dear friend now, and i up from the hostel and showed us around town. they rolled up to smugglers cove in their "pimped" out ride, bumping rihanna and usher, i felt right at home. dancing to the music that i know and loved, windows rolled down, cool wind running through my hair, gave me the ounce of home that i needed.

they took us to port denarau, the glamourous part of viti levu, where people with money came to experience fiji. =) alexandra and i weren't super keen on going there, but ali insisted. i think he wanted to show us the part of his home that he was proud of. i won't lie though, we indulged for a quick dip in a beautiful rock pool at one of the resorts. but our visit there was brief, i'm trying to experience real life in fiji, with no air-con, rough bedding, low water pressure and dirty feet!

a special thanks to ali and smiley for teaching me the fijian way, "only live for today."

xoxo - ShannonSmile

money can't buy happiness

i often refer to thailand as the land of a million smiles, fiji will now be called the land of music and love. to say that the fijian locals are kind would be an understatement. for people who have close to nothing, an onlooker would think they have everything. their smiles and their love is effervescent and quite contagious. a fijian would offer a stranger the shirt off their back, whereas allowing someone to switch lanes to me was considered my good deed for the day ;) 

funny how life's lessons tend to put things into perspective.

xoxo - ShannonSmile

"fiji time"

life on the islands of fiji is mesmerizing. many of the travelers i have encountered shared similar stories. they had come to an island, anticipated on only spending a few nights, but found themselves still there days, weeks, even months later. i had been strongly reminded of a book once read in high school, lord of the flies. i could see how easily one could get caught in the midst of the beauty, this mystical atmosphere created by the natives, enchanted anyone who dared to step foot in the warm white sand.

on these islands you are able to create a world of your own, a world of purity filled with peace and harmony. living by no established set of rules, but with a common understanding of respect that was never necessary to mention. natural bedding, open-aired showers, hidden spas, happy hour at noon, dancing and laughing throughout the night. everyone was on the same agenda and nothing was written on it. 

the turquoise colors of the ocean, the strong rays of sun dancing on your skin, the warm ocean water running all over your body, it was pure beauty. i was living in my own personal avatar. living with the world as one. no tele, no phone, no internet. the only means of entertainment necessary was of human contact and the earthly tunes that surrounded us.

nomads who started out as complete strangers to me and i to them, ended up knowing more about me than people who have known me my entire life. and its not because i wouldn't have shared my love of life before, its because honestly, no one really has the time to care. conversations rarely run so deep at a lunch in newport beach california. 

only one time existed on this island, it was a practice known as "fiji time."  roman numerals not welcomed. we lived only by the dial of the sun. 

xoxo - ShannonSmile

everything you need to know, you learn in kindergarden

my mom told me that when i was a child we couldn't even get into an elevator without me making friends. and by the time we hit the next floor, i had also felt it necessary to share with my new found mates my entire life story. 

as i stared onto the pool deck of smugglers cove, the hostel that was now my home, i realized how very daunting it is to make friends. traveling alone and being lost in a country was one thing, but remembering how to make a friend, quite another. of all times to be shy, a concept so foreign to me, why did i choose now to allow that quality to shine?  

i slowly stepped into the cool fresh water and apprehensively made my way toward four people at the far end. i figured my odds were better with a group, i was bound to hit it off with someone. i immediately introduced myself to the foursome. there were two english blocks, an english lace, and a canadian gal. both girls traveling alone, not a common thing to hear coming from the states, but seemed quite normal to them. instantly at peace with my decision to seek them out as friends, i remembered how much i had once loved engaging in conversation with people. i had been discouraged for various reasons throughout the later years of my life to practice this friendly nature, this is one specific quality that i had hoped to rejuvenate on my travels. it is something that once i gain back, i will never allow for anyone to discourage again. 

i was staying in a 40 person co-ed dorm, and there was nothing odd about it. the instant comradery amongst all of the travelers was just that, instant. nomads from 18-30 came together sharing the tales of their journey, hearing their crazy experiences often changed you as much as it had changed them. everyone seems to be chasing their own dream. we are all on such different paths, and yet with a similar love for travel and beauty, a common understanding of different cultures, values and customs was laced through us all. searching for the truth that we each saw fit, banded us together, stronger than i could have ever imagined. 

there was this underlying appreciation everyone had for each other, understanding that somehow, regardless how or why we arrived on this island, we were all facing the same world that lied around us. we eagerly wanted to learn about each others stories, knowing that we would only gain from the merit of each experience. 

as i reflected on my current situation, i noticed that the only qualities that mattered, the elements we all embodied that brought us all together, we had all learned when we were five. 


xoxo - ShannonSmile

sense of peace

as i sit here on the beach, breathing in the salty pacific air, sipping on an island coconut cut open by a local, i finally take the time to ask myself that inevitable question….what on earth am i doing? i just quit my job, rented out my apartment, totaled my car, and basically ran out of the country. am i insane?

i woke up one morning and seriously found myself questioning my every decision. 27 years old, amazing job, loving family, reputable social life, finances in order……every decision, every move i made, so well calculated and thoroughly thought out, that i had myself set up for nothing less than perfect success. i've been this way my entire existence. for as long as i can remember, everything has been so meticulously put together, every piece of my puzzle fits into place, and that's because i specifically placed it there. i planned everything to happen this way. 

why then, did i feel so lost? where on my path had i made a wrong turn. on paper, life looked great…..in reality, i could barely look at myself in the mirror and be proud. 

my first love once told me that i would never be satisfied, and for that, would never be happy. his comment has followed me through the years, and recently i've been thinking that maybe he had me right all along. i used to find his statement quite entertaining, knowing that just because I didn't want to settle, didn't mean i wouldn't find happiness. but, i question myself now. in a world made of various shades of grey……is happiness even attainable? 

had bear's words come back to haunt me? would i never be satisfied? i stood there with tears streaming down my face, not knowing the girl that stood before me.

so you ask, am i soul searching, am i looking to redefine my faith, am i looking for that guru to change my life, give me that jaw-dropping, life changing one liner that will determine my destiny? no, not at all. honestly, i just want to wake up, every morning, with a smile. i would like to believe that everyone deserves that sense of peace. 

and the angels will guide you

i arrived to nadi, fiji at 5:30am on january 18th, 2011. i exited the plane and the intense humid weather hit me immediately. it took me a second to adjust my breathing. i took my camera out of my satchel to quickly snap a photo of my starship that got me safely to my destination, but the camera lens fogged up so much, i could barely make out the plane. as i entered the nadi airport, the beautiful local tunes of the fijian people welcomed us to their country. how kind of them to allow us to borrow their homeland for the coming days. 

suddenly it hit me, i had no friend waiting to greet me, no driver holding my name up on a sign, no hotel booked, no boyfriend, no family, i had nothing. before i could really allow for the influx of emotions to take over, i quickly took in my surroundings and headed to the immigration desks. for whatever reason, that stamp on my passport calmed my nerves. this trip will not be one of fear, this trip will be of adventure and self discovery. my every thought, my every move, my every heartbeat would determine that. with my mind made up, and positive energy protruding through the island atmosphere, i exited the airport, ready to fight the taxi men and their high fares! 

outside the airport i happened to inquire a fijian indian local on the whereabouts of the nearest town. through our small talk i had come to find that his wife worked at a hostel nearby and with a click of his mobile phone, i had a place to call home and a free ride to get there. life was already on track. 

i saw a psychic once, and with a knowledge unknown to me, he said that i would be a world traveler, setting foot on many different soils, and touching the lives of various people. when i asked who i would be traveling with, he said i would go alone. shocked i fired back, "and who will protect me?" He answered simply with, "the angels of course!" That was good enough for me. 

xoxo - ShannonSmile

quarter life crisis anyone?

call it what you will or simply call what it is….quarter-life crisis, escaping reality, running from my issues, leaving the man that i love. branded by whoever chooses, judged by whoever cares, i bought a one-way ticket to the golden coast and promised not to return without an answer. i'm not even sure what i'm looking for, honestly have no idea if i will find what i need, but the bottom line is, i'm willing to take the risk, wanting to take the dive. and for that, i have to give myself credit, right?  

some have chosen to call me selfish, and that could be an accurate description of my current state of mind. but i can't allow for those negative veins of thought to flood my brain. i need to push forward. i need to take this great escape. i plan on running, running as fast as i can, until a 4x4 hits me smack in the face. and when i recover, i'll let you know if i see the great light. 

due to an emptiness in my life, that has taken me quite a few years to recognize and even admit to myself, i have chosen to take this path of travel. this current journey of mine will be completely organic and unpredictable. i have no hotels booked, have done little research, and have no travel buddy. i plan on visiting friends along the way, and anticipate on having ample time to cultivate many new relationships. i am taking this world on alone, in hopes of rebuilding an ambitious girl that i once knew so well.

First Stop - Fiji

 xoxo - ShannonSmile